The derivation of 'B'

It has occurred to me that my name has become an interpretative device for my life to date. I was born 'Brandon.' I came kicking and screaming into this world and spent the first several years of life as a hyperactive little child. There was little to no substance to this kid, but he had a label, i.e. Brandon. This label was akin to labels you might find in a grocery or hardware store as it described a relatively static object...me. I suppose the label probably had more cautionary statements than the myriad pharmaceuticals we have pitched at us each day in magazines or television. My label probably read something like, 'CAUTION: Requires constant supervision, will find a way into places he should not go....even if it's locked (he can pick locks), requires constant feeding, will outgrow clothing at an abnormal rate, is needlessly defiant....etc. etc. etc.' But through it all, the big bold letters on the merchandise read 'Brandon.'



Then things begin to change...basically life's marketing and sales team get a hold of this burgeoning product and start to change it. As it changes, so does the name. High school saw the disappearance of my first name altogether. I simply became 'Beyer.' This lasted until the four years of the high school add campaign expired and I was shipped abroad to college for a market test. 'Beyer' just was not selling to the natives, so they went back to the tried and true 'Brandon,' at least for a time. But the college consumer is vibrant and dynamic, and the need for speed and brevity became paramount. 'Brandon' became 'Brando.' 'Brando' became 'B-Man.' Until finally, they tossed the name altogether and 'B-man' simply became 'B.' There were always stragglers of course. Just like fans of an old sports team that has moved. There are people who refuse to acknowledge the Dallas Stars and insist they will always be the Northstars. There are those who think of the Indianopolis Colts as the Baltimore Colts....and the same was true for 'Brandon.' I will admit I liked the label 'B.' It was representative of exactly what happens to us in college. The environment strips you down, takes you apart piece-by-piece until you are left with a raw maleable object. Just as I was broken down, so was my name.



College ends...the sales team fires out it's newest product into the world and hopes you will pay homage to father-dollar and mother-capitalism. Sadly, I got sidetracked in regulatory red tape and spent several years in the graduate environment. The regulatory team really did a number on me as a product. I went from 'B' back to 'Brandon' faster than should have been possible, and with no time for product evolution, I was left reeling. It was forced conversion from the free-spirited label, which was both processed and produced by the collegiate market, into something I was not yet ready to become. And the product...my product...almost failed. It probably should have died, and attempts were made to kill it off and wipe the label from memory. But then something happened. This "product" had been around so long it had a life of its own. It did not need a marketing or sales team. It did not need an army of cube dwellers to give it value, it was self-sustaining and progressive. 'Brandon' deconstructed itself as a product yet again, and started to rebuild from its happiest, most successful point, 'B.' This is a work still in progress, and it is seeing many iterations. There is 'B-Tastic,' 'B-Licious,' and 'B-Funk.' All viable options, but by no means the end point of this reconstruction process. I really do not know where it will end. I am working with a one-man marketing and sales team, and we are new at this game.