The Dance

People who know me know that I am a dancer. I have been on hiatus for a time, but I still have a passion for ballroom dance. I know why I enjoy the sport. It's a subtle combination of athletic ability, musicality, rhythm, performance and artistry, poise, grace and respect. One can be as serious or as casual as they wish and still derive a lot of joy from dancing. It is still the most enjoyable social activity I have found thus far. I am an inherently social creature, but I am also very physical. What is dance but a conversation between two people that is expressed as much in movement and contact as it is in words?

There is another dance, however, that I have found to be simultaneously a confidence builder and destroyer. It is terrible and joyous, draining and invigorating, humbling and empowering, and at all times, educational. Let me paint a scene. We shall call it 'The Dance - Act I, Scene I.' Two people enter a room. The room is well lit and strangers are present. The pair are well dressed, have taken some time to present themselves favorably, and now stand at opposite ends of the dance floor, scanning to find one another. Their gaze meets and the butterflies begin. This first moment is different for everyone. Some have their heart race, some are assailed by mild nausea, and some have their mouths go dry with fear, while others simply freeze. Personally, I feel tightness across my shoulders, a tension rising through my body, a pressure within my chest and I feel very much the focus of every eye within a thousand yards. Welcome to the first 'step' in The Dance. I am not sure how others deal with first contact, but I take a few breaths, center myself, turn off my thinking mind and turn my instinct dial to maximum volume. I move forward. I feel the situation, I don’t think about it, and I walk forward with confidence, seeking the middle of the dance floor.

This is where things become interesting. Your partner approaches, they stand within arms reach and there is an uncomfortable moment where the truth settles on both of you like a fine mist. You begin to realize just how complicated this dance is going to be, and chances are the butterflies might return for an unwelcome encore.

You both speak English...but very different dialects. You both know how to dance, but your skill level may vary and you don't know the same dances. You both hear music...but you can't hear what the other person is listening to. Despite these barriers, you raise your hand slowly and invite your partner to do the same. You take a respectful dance position; take a moment to calm your nerves, and then you try to dance. Sometimes the first few steps are fluid. They are clear, direct and your partner follows your lead immediately. You will invariably step on a few toes, go forward when they want to go right, go left when they want to go back, and at all times you will start off dancing to a completely different beat. Have you figured it out yet? Do you know this dance? If you have ever dated, you know this dance well.

People can find their way through this process. They can navigate the dance floor, find steps that don't match either partner's style, but are new....because they invented them together. Out of the awkward moments of the initial steps they begin to form their own movements, their own song, and their own rhythm. Where once there were bruised feet and teetering erratic movements, there are now graceful strides that flow seamlessly into turns, dips and beautiful orchestrated drama. This new dance does not happen on that first date, or the second. This dance, which could almost seem choreographed to a casual onlooker, is one of growth and evolution. A perfect manifestation of chemistry, love and harmony. But those first steps can be a trial for even the most accomplished dancers or the best matched pair. I think if people can find themselves moving as one and conversing in a mixed dialect only a few hours after meeting, then they ought to consider themselves fortunate. Their feet just might remain unharmed, their butterflies well worth the discomfort, and their entrance into this great ballroom, this venue, this Dance....well, it was probably worth the effort and the wait.

Many of us are still dancing...but we must not lose hope. I see friends and family that have found their partners. Couples that have written their own music, made their own language, and created their own dances. These people inspire and encourage, and it is because of them that people such as I keep dancing. They stand as shimmering proof that the challenge of The Dance is worth it...even if we break a few toes in the process.